So Just Pull the Trigger
by B0Kchoy
Summary: AU. Finn was always the daring type. He didn't care much about his life anymore. That is, until he met Rachel Berry that night; Rachel was usually so happy-go-lucky. But after too many years unsuccessful, she succumbs to taking a go at Russian roulette.


**A/N Well it's 3am now and I started writing this after midnight anyways. Don't know why, since I swore I'd go to bed early tonight haha oopsies. But then this came to me, so huzzah, I had to write it. I'm all about the spontaneous stories. Even in all my secret stories that will never be published, I've never tried AU. Wish me luck!**

It was the same old Saturday night for Finn Hudson. A couple years ago, death had taken its toll on a good chunk of people he cared about. It was too much for him. It started out as drinking, but one night in the bar, some guy he "befriended" asked him to come join them for their game. In his drunk state, he thought it was a fantastic idea. And then he kept playing. He how risky it was. Finn Hudson. Such a radical, wasn't he? It didn't scare him that he might not be alive to come back next week.

His new addiction.

Russian roulette.

Rachel Berry was having a tough time. She had moved to New York a few years ago to try and start a career in acting or singing. As it stood though, she was a complete failure. Turns out, lots of others came there in hopes of the same dream.

It wasn't her best idea, but she no longer cared. She had come to play Russian roulette. She knew someone who had a sister that went there every so often. So she'd somehow ended up finding her way in here tonight. It was too late to rethink it though. Today, she would be playing a game that really meant life or death.

The game was beginning so soon. Finn got a thrill out of just the thought. He was walking aimlessly around the cellar-like room, anxious to get this game on the road.

He heard humming. His head shot towards the sound immediately. There was the culprit, a woman standing a few steps away. She was unfamiliar to him. She was bouncing on the balls of her feet ever so slightly and gnawing on her lip.

She was new.

"Hey," he said to the strange woman. Her eyes flashed- she hadn't even noticed he was there. "Nervous?"

"Um, yeah. Yeah, kinda," she replied quickly. "Yeah. No."

"Uh, so yes?" he said, a grin playing with the one corner of his lips. He hadn't smiled in so long. It was a weird feeling. "It's alright. Most people are." She gave him a nervous smile. "I'm Finn." He offered her his hand.

She grabbed his hand and shook it lightly, then didn't let go, probably not really thinking about it. "Rachel Berry."

"Well, Miss Rachel Berry, what brings you here tonight?" Now he was smiling. He couldn't help it. She had some kind of affect on him.

"My dreams are down the gutter and I don't know what else to do. I really don't know how I ended up here to be honest, but I can't back out now," she said, suddenly in a rambling mood.

He nods. "You were humming," he blurted out before he realized it. "I'm guessing you're one of those really talented people who just can't seem to get noticed. We've had a few."

"Yeah. That sounds about right." Rachel laughed humorlessly. "Talent goes to waste in the world we live in." He liked how modest she was. "I guess I'm just not pretty enough for them." Her eyes fluttered down to her feet for a second before she met his gaze again.

"You're plenty pretty," he said. Again, he wasn't really thinking these things through before he threw them out in the open. But he _was_ captivated by her… Her doe-like brown eyes; Her matching hair that fell perfectly over her shoulders; Her distant gaze that made her seem so vulnerable. Hell, he even loved how petite she was and how he

She smiled shyly. Her eyes did the thing again where they glance to the floor for barely a moment. And, God, she looked so beautiful when she did that. Finn didn't know what he was doing. He'd given up on love when everyone he ever had loved was gone…

Rachel couldn't describe the emotion his eyes portrayed. But, then again, she couldn't exactly place the feeling in her own head, either. _You gave up, remember? No soul mate would come for you, and none will._ But somehow, she loved this man since he started their conversation. There. She admitted it. She _loved_ this guy she just met.

Then, out of nowhere when she was lost in her thoughts, Rachel felt warm lips crash onto hers. It took her a moment for her to process the fact that this Finn was _kissing_ her, but when she did, she moved her mouth with his. They seemed almost in-sync. _Made for each other._

His tongue was running along her top lip, begging for an entrance. She didn't even hesitate to comply. She had never had a heated make-out session like this one. That wasn't in the failure package. But she somehow knew just what to do.

During their tongue dance, she decided on a whim to try something. She took her tongue away from his, then took his bottom lip between her teeth. At first, Rachel simply nibbled at it, but then she bit down. She used her tongue to lick where she had just chomped down on and tasted blood. Even their moan seemed to be in unison.

Finally, though, she had to pull herself away for breath. It registered now for her what had just happened.

"I love you." The words seemed to tumble out of Finn's mouth, and she was surprised to hear them. This was her first time coming into contact with him, and he was confessing his love?

"I-"

"Alright, people!" a rough voice interrupted her. "Gather in a circle. Gun's ready."

This also registered in her. Her eyes widened again at the thought of what she now had to do.

He loved someone again. Maybe. He had really just said it without thinking, like he had been through his whole conversation with this Rachel character.

Now his thoughts were lost when the adrenaline rush kicked back in. Time to fill that craving for danger.

At first, he had Rachel sit down beside him. She still looked so frightened, all he wanted to do was comfort her nerves. Then some jackass squeezed between them, just as Rachel looked like she was going to continue what she had been starting to say before.

The guy who acted as a leader, Rick, took the gun first. Sometimes, he just liked to do the honors. Four people before it would be Finn's turn. Two before Rachel's.

Now, with a creepy, sweaty man between her and Finn and only two people before her, Rachel's nerves did not calm down. At all.

They were mostly just worse.

The first guy was ready. He wasn't terrified like her. He just took his turn.

She didn't realize she'd closed her eyes, but when she opened them, her eyes widened. The revolver was now in the hand of the young man beside her. He was a little more hesitant, but pulled the trigger in less than two minutes.

Her eyes hadn't closed that time. She observed carefully as the man opened his eyes. Alive.

Time slowed down. Everything was going through her mind. Finn. Her lost dreams. Hopeless. Gunshots. Darkness. Finn. Kissing. Finn. Her unfinished sentence. _Finn…_

_Take a breath._

_Take it deep._

_Calm yourself,_

_He says to me._

She remembered Finn attempting to soothe her. She had been humming and he could tell she was afraid.

_If you play,_

_You play for keeps._

_Take the gun,_

_And count to three._

The man beside her was nudging the revolver into her clammy palm. She now noticed, and took the gun from him. Her fingers wrapped around the barrel.

_I'm sweating now,_

_Moving slow._

_No time to think._

_My turn to go._

All eyes on her. _Isn't that what you always wanted?_ her mind taunts. Her thoughts traced back to when she was conversing with Finn. They had mentioned her dreams near the beginning. It felt like another world when he had approached her. Like it was years ago.

_Say a prayer,_

_To yourself._

_He says close your eyes,_

_Sometimes it helps._

_Then I get_

_A scary thought._

_That he's here,_

_Means he's never lost_

She quickly glanced to her left. Bad idea. Finn was visible enough that she can see his encouraging smile. But there was a little bit of pain in his eyes; she could tell. It reminded her that even if she wasn't in very much contact with her family these days, they would learn of her death. She imagined how they would react. Maybe she was a whole lot of nothing now, but her parents had gone through so much trouble for her. They would be so devastated. They would be so disappointed. Too late to think of that, though. She didn't have a choice- Rachel lifted the gun to her temple, fingers now poised on the trigger.

_As my life flashes_

_Before my eyes,_

_I'm wondering will I_

_Ever see another sunrise?_

_So many won't get the chance to say goodbye,_

_But it's too late to pick up the value of my life._

This is it. Rachel stole one last glance towards Finn. She wanted his face to be the last she saw, not the greasy man between them. Then she squeezed her eyes together tightly, almost painfully, his image burnt into the back of her eyelids.

_And you can see my heart beating,_

_You can see it through my chest._

_And I'm terrified,_

_But I'm not leaving._

_I know that I must pass this test._

_So just pull the trigger._

She pulled the trigger. No thoughts were racing through her mind anymore, not like they spoke of in movies. All she saw was the pitch black.

Finn watched desperately. He had just met this girl, sure, but he didn't think she deserved the bullet. Any one of these people in here, definitely including him, deserved it so much more than her. She might be going places, she just hadn't gotten there yet.

Rachel Berry. Maybe one day he could've seen that name in lights.

And maybe he still would. She still had her eyes closed, yet her chest was still rising and falling. No bullet. He inwardly sighed in relief.

Cautiously, she opened her eyes. _She opened her eyes._ Here she was, still alive. It was a really odd feeling, being alive and well after convincing yourself you would be dead in a matter of seconds.

The first thought that crossed her mind was that maybe, just maybe, something was telling her that she didn't need to give up on life and herself, her dreams.

The second thought was Finn. She moved her eyes' focus over to the handsome man two people down. He appeared relieved. He met her gaze, and suddenly her eyes fluttered down for a second like they kept doing before. It was just something he did to her, she couldn't explain it.

The light that glinted off of the revolver in her hands hurt her eyes when she caught it at the wrong angle, but it was more concerning when she realized that it wasn't this easy. Finn still hadn't gone. He could still be dead in only minutes.

Rachel quickly passed the gun to the man beside her, not wanting any part of the weapon any longer. There was definitely no more roulette in her future, as far as she was concerned.

All of her focus had become on the ground. It seemed like seconds later when she had heard the familiar gun sound and knew it was now Finn's turn. She didn't even know his last name, it occurred to her.

"Finn what?" she said before she could control herself.

He smiled at her. "Finn Hudson." Then he raised the gun to his head and squeezed the trigger, not wasting any time. He was still smiling at her, not bothering to close his eyes as she had.

_Blam._

She heard it before her brain processed what she was seeing. The bullet had been there for his shot.

She whimpered quietly, "Finn Hudson…I never finished saying 'I love you, too.'"

**A/N The lyrics are from Russian Roulette by Rihanna. Since, you know, I was listening to that when this story came to mind. At like, 1:30am. Ergh. Anyways, please let me know what you think and I will love you forever! Also, I kind of didn't edit too well. I'll take a look at it again tomorrow and see how badly I embarassed myself..(additional sidenote: I finally finished managing to reread this today, September 2nd/3rd..Wow.)**


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